Don’t say

A comic song by Peter Tranchell. No music survives, but it is remembered to have been in a Noel Coward-like style.

Don’t say to Ella
Ella you look yeller.
Ella knows she’s looking yeller too.
And nothing they can give’er
Will cure her cancer of the liver.
Surprise surprise she’s yeller & not blue.

Don’t say to Roger
You look pale, old Codger.
Is too much gin mixed with your blood?
For cancer of the corpuscles
Will strain the cardiac muscles.
And Codger Roger knows his blood is dud.

Don’t say to Bobbie
Singing was your hobby,
But today you seem to have a husky note.
Has flu been in the offing?
Praps you’ve done too much coughing?
But lucky Bob has cancer of the throat.

Don’t say to Hearker
Your hair was once darker
Now it’s getting silvery like the moon.
It’s not symbolical
It’s cancer of the follicle.
And Hearker’s going to need a toupé soon.